Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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