just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
