Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
