Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
