you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
