No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
