I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
