My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
