im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
