he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
