he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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