I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
