so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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