If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
