dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My bed smells like the plague
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
