Me. At least after what I've been through.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
