he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
