it was like eating out sand paper
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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