I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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