i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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