Sponge bath it is.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
