i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just puked most of my soul out..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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