so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
