she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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