Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
