dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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