Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
