Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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