imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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