Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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