Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
