it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
