I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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