i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He shit in the fireplace
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
