An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
