if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
