oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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