thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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