Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
