I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize