Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
BRING THE BAGELS
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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