sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You pole danced in your parka.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
