I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
ttyl tear gas
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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