i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You dont lie about slip and slides
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
