i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you would pick up someone in the library
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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