coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
