So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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