i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
