Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
