i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
