It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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