the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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