I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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