I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
