We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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