At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
