you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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