Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
