Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
...so i touched it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
