yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Please don't give away my fajitas
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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