also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
