i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize