I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's always time for handjobs
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
