I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize