I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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