a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
