he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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