why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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