Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Farmville is her only friend.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
