is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize