He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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